22 SEARCH FOR A WIFE

Abraham took good care of a good son, to get him well married. It was time to think of it now, for Isaac was about forty years old, and it had been customary with his ancestors to marry at thirty, or sooner. Abraham believed the promise of the building up of his family, and therefore did not hurry about this matter any more than was the appropriate speed. Two considerations moved him, however, to think of it now. Firstly, he, himself, was likely to leave the world quickly, for “Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way” (1). It would be a satisfaction to Abraham to see his son settled before he died. Secondly, furthermore, Abraham had many possessions, a good estate to leave behind him. It does not always happen this way, but here the godly character of God’s man produced outward prosperity. Abraham’s pious care for Isaac was, that he should not marry a daughter of the idolatrous and immoral Canaanites, but one of his own kindred. He saw that the Canaanites were degenerating into great wickedness, and knew by revelation that they were designed for ruin, and therefore he would not marry his son to one of them, lest they should be a snare to his soul, or a blot to his name.

Abraham did not want Isaac to leave the land of Canaan, to go himself among his kindred, not even for the purpose of choosing a wife. Perhaps this was to prevent any temptation to settle anywhere outside of the promised Canaan. This caution is given in verses 6, “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” and 8, “Only do not take my son back there.” God brought Abraham out from Ur and did not want the next generation to regress back into their idolatrous company. Any parents in disposing of their children, should carefully consult the welfare of their souls, and their furtherance in the way to heaven. Those who through grace have escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust, and have brought up their children accordingly, should take heed of doing any thing by which they may be again entangled in the world and overcome. 2 Perter 2:20 says, “If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning.” Leaders especially should be careful about the selection of a spouse for themselves and their children so their children can be a good and great influence in the next generation. Little wonder that Abraham was concerned about this.

Eliezer of Damascus was a good servant, one of whose conduct, faithfulness, and affection to him and his family, he had had long experience. He trusted him with this great affair, rather than Isaac himself. He would not have Isaac go at all into that country, but marry there by proxy; and no representative was so fit as Eliezer who was most likely the “senior servant in his household” mentioned. This matter is settled between the master and the servant with a great deal of serious trust.

Abraham’s servant was up to the challenge of his responsibility. He took an impressive amount of gifts and supplies and set out for Nahor. “. . . the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out  . . .” (10).

Abraham puts his confidence in a good God, who, his faith tells him, will give his servant success in this undertaking. It often takes more faith to believe that God will work through others than to believe that God will work through ourselves. Every time a leader delegates a responsibility, he or she must be able to trust God to work through the delegated person. “The Lord . . . he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there” (7). He remembers that God had wonderfully brought him out of the idolatrous land of his birth, by the specific call of His grace and therefore does not doubt He will help him in his efforts not to take his son back there, or even towards there. He remembers also the promise God had made and confirmed to him that he would give Canaan to his decendants, which naturally and rationally infers that God would assist in his endeavors to match his son, not among those nations devoted to other gods, but to one that was fit, as Sarah was fit, to be the mother of God’s chosen descendants.

Those that carefully stay in the way of duty, and govern themselves by the principles of their faith in their designs and undertakings, have good reason to expect prosperity and success in them. God will help make things turn out well when we sincerely aim at His glory. God’s promises, and our own experiences, are sufficient to encourage our dependence on and expectations from Him, in all our affairs. But even if things did not turn out well, God knows the heart, and judges and rewards accordingly. Abraham’s servant succeeded, but even if he had not, Abraham would not have criticized him. God did help. He was successful. Evidently with help from angels. God’s angels are ministering spirits sent for the protection of and guidance for the heirs of promise. This truth is reinforced by Hebrews 1:14 which says “Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?”

Abraham’s servant impresses us with his own faith in this story and, though he is not named, yet a lot is recorded here to his honor. He may serve as an example to all members of our leadership teams and staff members so they will serve their leaders as well as Abraham’s servant did. Proverbs 27:18 says, “whoever protects their master will be honored.” And Titus 2:10 refers to servants (staff members) who can “show that they can be fully trusted. . .” A good servant (dependable staff member) that conscientiously fulfills his or her duty and does it in the fear of God will receive recognition and reward from God even if no one on earth ever notices him or her. Christian leader, use this story to develop faithful workers on your team.

The servant could be a type of the Holy Spirit sent to the world to find a bride for Christ. Isaac being a type of Christ, some make this finding of a wife for him an illustration of the gathering of the church by the ministry of the Holy Spirit. The church is the bride, the Lamb’s wife. Revelation 21:9 says, “One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, ‘Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.’” If anyone is willing and accepts the invitation they may be a part of the family of God. If not, they are free to reject the opportunity. Christ is the bridegroom, and the Holy Spirit is the friend of the bridegroom, whose work it is to persuade souls to consent to Him. The spouse of Christ must not be of the Canaanites, but of His own kindred, born again from above. The Holy Spirit, like Abraham’s servant, attracts, woos, invites with great wisdom and care to serve the bridegroom’s interest. 1 Corinthians 11:2 says, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.”

Genesis 18:19 records what one of Abraham’s heavenly visitors had earlier said of Abraham. “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” Eliezer devoutly served Abraham’s and God’s agenda in his trip to Aram Naharaim. After traveling many days, he arrived early in the evening at his destination, and rested by a well of water, to consider how he might best manage his business.

Eliezer did the right thing, always the wisest thing, he prayed. “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water” (12 & 13). Proverbs 3:6 was not written yet, but is well illustrated here. “. . . in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” If we want God’s plan in all our ways, we must continually ask for it. Abraham’s servant did the right thing.

He proposes a sign, not to limit God, and not as an excuse to proceed no further if he were not satisfied in it; but it is a prayer, that God would provide a good wife for his young master, and this was a good prayer. He knew that “a prudent wife is from the Lord” even before Solomon wrote that in Proverbs 19:14. He desires that his master’s wife might be a humble, industrious woman, raised up to care and labor, willing to put her hand to any needed work and that she might be courteous and charitable to strangers. His “test” of whom to choose included these elements. He could determine her character by watching her conduct to see if she fulfilled the rather detailed description of what he was looking for. As God did twice for Gideon, God made His answer clear. Unquestionably clear. This does not always happen because sometimes it is difficult to determine the will of God, but this time God made it clear, possibly to illustrate that sometimes He will do that. 

Eliphaz counseled Job in Job 22:28, to trust in God and made a rather idealistic statement regarding how God will respond to his prayers. Eliphaz said, “What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.” Not always do we pray for the right thing and God answers so quickly, but as though to illustrate that God can do this, we see it happened that way for Eliezer. According to his faith, so was his answer, speedy, while he was still talking to God, satisfactorily, just as he had carefully stated, she filled her pitcher with water for him and then for all the camels. She was so well qualified that in all respects she possessed the character he looked for in the woman that was to be his master’s wife; beautiful, healthy, humble, industrious, very courteous and obliging to a stranger and having all the marks of a good disposition. When she came to the well she went to it, did not stand to gaze at the stranger and his camels, but minded her business, and would not have been diverted from it but by the opportunity to do good which he offered her. She is a good example of courtesy and also the way that God is able to perfectly answer prayer, even in little things, that He may show the extent of his care, and may encourage us to always seek and trust in Him. Surely Rebekah shows us an example of what Jesus said in Matthew 10:42: “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” God was and is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20).

And then to crown it all he found, to his great satisfaction, that she was a near relative to his master. At this he did two things just right, 1. he respectfully thanked her and gave her gifts, “took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka (half shekel) and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels (22) and 2. “bowed down and worshiped the Lord” (26). Little wonder that she ran and told her family. We too can do what each of these two did. Thank people, worship God and tell others. Her family, though they had not come all the way to Canaan, but remained in Haran, yet were not idolaters, but worshippers of the true God.

She was a perfect answer to prayer. This does not always happen, but it did happen and can happen—for you.