23 A WIFE IS FOUND

Here is one of Scripture’s romantic stories, the making up of the marriage between Isaac and Rebekah. It is related in great detail and particularity even to the minute circumstances, which, we would think, might have been spared, while other things of great moment and mystery, such as the story of Melchizedek, are related in just a few words. God conceals what is mysterious, heady and curious from the wise and prudent and yet reveals to babes what is beautiful, meaningful and yet common. Similarly, He rules and saves the world through something simple like preaching as 1 Corinthians 1:21 informs us: “For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.” So here is a common matter from which we can learn valuable truths. We are directed by these details to take notice of God’s sovereign involvement in the little common occurrences of human life, and in them also to exercise our own wisdom and eagerness to learn. The Scripture is not intended for the use of philosophers and statesmen only, but to make us all wise and godly in the conduct of ourselves and families.

Abraham’s servant received a very hospitable reception by Rebekah’s relations. Her brother, Laban went to invite and conduct him in. However, this invitation was not until he saw the ear-rings and bracelets on his sister’s hands: verse 30 says, “As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring.” Use your imagination with me, “Oh,” thinks Laban, “here is a man through whom I may be able to get or gain something, a man that is rich and generous; we must be sure to bid him welcome!” Almost immediately Laban received valuable gifts. “Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother” (53). Proverbs 18:16 is well illustrated here as we may see Laban’s ulterior motive in being kind to Abraham’s servant: “A bribe is seen as a charm by the one who gives it; they think success will come at every turn.” We know so much of Laban’s character, by the later story of Jacob and Laban, as to suppose that Laban would not have been so free with his generous entertainment at this early stage in the story if he had not hoped to be well benefited by it, as he was.

Nevertheless, on the surface Laban’s invitation was kind: “Come, you who are blessed by the Lord,” he said. “Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.” They saw he was rich, and therefore pronounced him “blessed of the Lord.” Why? Maybe it was because of the material wealth. It is also possible that it was because of the of the gracious words Rebekah had heard from Abraham’s servant about God’s help in his search for her that caused them to conclude he was a good man, and therefore blessed by the Lord. James warns us not to give overly favorable treatment to the wealthy, yet it is not wrong to bless those who are blessed of God should they come our way in life. It is good to befriend those whom God befriends. Abraham was wealthy in two ways.

The entertainment they provided for Abraham’s servants and the animals was kind since they provided straw, fodder and water for the camels and food for the travelers. Both the house and stable were well furnished, and Abraham’s servant was invited to the free use of both. Is there a lesson here in the treatment of the camels? Particular care was taken to them. Proverbs 12:10 says, “The righteous care for the needs of their animals.” If the ox receives good treatment from his owner, the righteous owner will receive a good return from his ox. In this common part of the story of Isaac receiving a wife, we see mention is made of God’s care for animals just as in the last verses of the story of Jonah. A kind person is kind—even to animals. Does the way you treat animals show you are a kind person? This is a fair question.

Abraham’s servant focuses on his business; though he had come on a journey, and come to a hospitable family and well-supplied house, still he would not eat until he had explained the purpose of his trip, the errand of his master. “I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say” (33). We too should remember this since we also are on an errand for our Master. The doing of our work, and the fulfilling of our assignment, whether for God or man, should be completed before other things, even our necessary food. Jesus said “My food . . . . is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work” (John 4:34) and that is a good example for us. The servant was wise in the management of his assignment, stating it clearly, and yet was polite to those with whom he sat at the table. His proposition correctly appeared to be good for both sides. Today we call it “Win, win.” We represent our Heavenly Father in the doing of our errand. We too can best represent Him by being courteous and gracious to those to whom we are sent and complete our assignment that benefits both sides.

The servant gives a short account of the state of his master’s family, beginning with an important statement, “I am Abraham’s servant” (34). He was welcome before, but we may guess he was even more welcome when he said, “I am Abraham’s servant.” Abraham’s name was very likely well known among them and respected. They were, after all, relatives. If Abraham knew of them, they likewise probably knew of him. Two things he proposes to forward his agenda. (1) His master Abraham, through the blessing of God, had a very good estate and, (2) he had given it all to Isaac. Let us to remember whose servant we are (God’s) and to whom (each of us) He has given many blessings.

Abraham’s servant was treated well because of who his master was. Abraham position and possessions benefited the servant. This often happens to the servants of the Lord too. People treat us well because of who’s servants we are, not because of who we are in ourselves. With this is mind, let us not become proud when people treat us well. They are honoring God in their kindness to us and we honor God by our humility before them.

He tells them the responsibility his master had given him, that is to find a wife for his son from among his relatives, with the reason for it, “You must not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live, but go to my father’s family and to my own clan, and get a wife for my son.” (37 & 38). He gives a pleasing hint, that, though Abraham lived in a country so far away, yet he still retained the remembrance of and respect for his relations he had left behind. The highest degrees of divine affection must not subtract from us our natural affections.

He likewise helps them avoid a misunderstanding . . . . if Isaac were so deserving, why did he not marry nearer home? “For a good reason,” says he; “my master’s son must not marry a Canaanite.”

He further recommends his proposal from the faith his master had that it would succeed, because Abraham believed God would give him good success. God “will send his angel with you and make your journey a success” (40). Earlier in that sentence is this phrase, “The Lord, before whom I have walked faithfully,” and that makes a difference. If we keep our part of the covenant in our day to day activities, God will surely keep His. Abraham took encouragement from the his godly conscience that he walked before God in the regular course of holy living, and therefore that God would make this journey go well. This was possibly an indirect reference to the covenant which God had made with Abraham. “I am God, the all-sufficient one, walk before me.” We can reason from the general to the specific, I walk daily with the Lord in covenant relationship and He will make this trip now go well.

He relates to them the wonderful agreement of God’s sovereign plan, to be involved in and further the proposal, plainly showing the finger of God in it. He tells them how he had prayed for direction by a sign of the drink of water and also water for the camels. It is good to deal with those who by prayer take God along with them in their dealings. How God had answered his prayer to the very letter. He mentioned that he prayed in his heart so no one would think that Rebekah had overheard the prayer and merely act the part so she could be the “answer” to that prayer. “No,” says he, “I spoke it in my heart, so that no one heard it but God, to whom thought can be prayers, and from Him the answer came,”  Surly this is an example of Psalm 107:7,  “He led them by a straight way.” God’s way is always the right way. Those are well led whom He leads.

In verse 40 Abraham’s servant clearly and succinctly explains the matter to them and stops talking to wait for their decision. “Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.” It is a mark of good leadership if one can propose an idea and let others freely express their opinions about it.

They freely and cheerfully agree with the proposal for a very good reason. Verse 50 says, “Laban and Bethuel answered, ‘This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other.’” “Providence smiles on it, and we have nothing to say against it.” They do not object to the distance of the place, Abraham’s forsaking them, or his having no land in possession, but personal estate only. They do not question the truth of what this man said, but trust much to his truthfulness. It were well if honesty did so universally prevail among men that it might be as much an act of prudence as it is of good nature to take a man’s word. They trust more to God’s sovereign providence and therefore by silence give consent because it appears to be directed by God’s wisdom. A marriage is surely likely to be comfortable when it appears to proceed from the Lord.

Abraham’s servant makes a thankful acknowledgment of the good success with which he was well met. Every good story, every chapter of each of our stories ought to end like this story does. “When Abraham’s servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord” (52). As his good success continued he continued to bless God. If we pray without ceasing and are blessed without ceasing, then we can bow and worship without ceasing. God sent His angel before him and so gave him success. When he has the desired success, he worships God, not the angel. Whatever benefit we have by the ministration of angels, all the glory must be given to the Lord of the angels, not the angels; to the First cause, not the secondary ones. Christians too are ministers, and the Lord is to be glorified for everything good they do.

So, Christian leader, do a lot that brings glory to your God. Then in the records of heaven your story will parallel this wonderful story of the servant of Abraham. We are studying the lives of the patriarchs in this series, but in this lesson we learn not only of Abraham’s faith and trust, but also the faith and trust of the servant who learned from and is following the example of his master.