40 A TRANSITION

We begin now to discuss the negotiated settlement of the problem between Laban and Jacob. Laban had nothing to say in reply to Jacob’s criticism. He could not justify himself and neither could he condemn Jacob. Evidently he was convicted by his own conscience of the wrong he had done to Jacob and therefore avoids the subject of his failures. He is not willing to admit his fault, ask Jacob’s forgiveness, or repay Jacob what he should have. Rather he changes the subject and addresses what he claims to be a kindness to Jacob’s wives and children, mere words. His actions have already shown them and us his selfishness. We cannot cover selfishness with just words. Action is needed. Verses 43&44 say, “Laban answered Jacob, ‘The women are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks. All you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne?’” When he cannot excuse what he has done, he says what he should have been saying and acting like all along.

He should have treated them as his own, but he had acted as though they were strangers. In the previous chapter in verse 15 his daughters had said of him: “Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us.” Some people who are without natural affection for their family pretend it when it will make them look good. Perhaps Laban said this in a vain-glorious way, as one that loved to talk big, and use great sounding words of vanity and pride: “All you see is mine.” No, that was not true. Jacob had earned it. Hear this: yet Jacob let him have his say, perhaps seeing that the open hostility that had brought Laban there was cooling off.

There are two lessons here: (1) Let people talk, boast, brag, and verbally claim what they think is theirs. It may relieve some tensions. (2) Laban was full of talk. Jacob’s moral stature rises by letting Laban talk and Laban lowers his reputation by taking too much with much of what he said not even true. Possessions are too important to worldly people. They love to boast of it, “This is mine, and the other is mine.” Jesus says that life consists of more than possessions. The people of the world are different than God’s people. We have no need to be jealous of the world’s people.

It is interesting that Laban, not Jacob, proposes a covenant of friendship between them. Jacob did not need a non-aggression agreement. He would not injure Laban. Laban only thought he needed it. And the wise and gracious Jacob readily agrees, without insisting upon Laban’s submission, much less his restitution. When quarrels happen, we should quickly be friends again on any terms. Peace and love are valuable jewels. Buy them if we can when we can. It is better to come to the end of the day appearing to be the losers in an agreement, but really being the winners because we avoided further strife.

Jacob wisely let Laban define the terms. Jacob was for peace, agreement or no agreement. Let Laban satisfy his ego. Jacob would get peace and that was enough for him. Furthermore, the terms were only things Jacob would have done anyway. (1.) That Jacob should be a good husband to his wives, that he should not afflict them, nor marry other wives besides them. Jacob had never given him any cause to suspect that he would be any other than a kind husband; yet, as if he had, he was willing to come under this part of the agreement. Though Laban had afflicted his daughters himself, yet he will force Jacob that he would not mistreat them. Jacob continued to hold his tongue. People that are injurious themselves are commonly most jealous of others, and those who do not do their own duty are most forward in demanding fair treatment from others. Here are Laban’s words: “If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me” (50). Jacob had traveled all the way to Paddam Aram and worked fourteen years for a non-Canaanite wife. Why would he return to Canaan and marry a Hittite?

(2.) Jacob must also agree that he should never be a bad neighbor to Laban, “This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me” (52). Ha! This is really funny. Who traveled seven days to Gilead to confront whom? Who was fleeing? Who was pursuing? Laban looks quite foolish here. It was nevertheless agreed that no act of hostility should ever pass between them, that Jacob should forgive and forget all the wrongs he had received and not remember them against Laban or his family. It is the glory of a wise man to overlook an insult. Jacob simply agreed with Laban’s unnecessary conditions. Jacob did not want to fight anyway. He had learned something from his father the peacemaker. Isaac would have been proud of Jacob. We may be sorry to receive an injury but that does not mean we need to get revenge.

The ceremony of this covenant. It was made and ratified with solemnity, according to the custom of those times. A pillar was erected as stated in verse 45, “So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar.” and a heap of stones raised as stated in verse 46, “He said to his relatives, ‘Gather some stones.’ So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap.” Writing was not used as much in those days so pillars, heaps and monuments served to remind folks of important events.

A sacrifice was offered according to verse 54, “He (Jacob) offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there” (54). They offered a sacrifice of peace-offerings. Speaking of peace, our peace with God may motivate us to also have peace with others. The God of peace in us helps us to be peaceful persons. If there is contention among the people of our church, the persons on our staff or the leadership team, drawing close to God who loves both sides will help facilitate reconciliation one to another. As an indication of their hearty reconciliation they eat bread together, jointly partaking of the feast at the sacrifice.

In those days agreements of friendship were ratified by the parties eating and drinking together. It was in the nature of a love-feast. They solemnly appealed to God regarding their agreement asking that God would be their witness. Verse 49 says, “It was also called Mizpah, because he said, ‘May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.’” This was as though to say, “May the Lord watch everything done on either side if either of us violates the agreement. When we are out of one another’s sight, let this be a restraint on us, that wherever we are, we are under God’s eye.”

You and I or you and your friends, however far apart you are from each other, can make and keep this kind of friendship pact. It can remind you to pray for each other. We can remember that God is watching over both ourselves and our friends.

Who was to be the Judge? According to verse 53 there are several notable persons mentioned, all of whom believe in the true God. “May the God of Abraham (from whom Jacob descended) and the God of Nahor, (from whom Laban descended) the God of their father, (the common ancestor, from whom they both descended) judge between us.” God’s relation to both sides is expressed like this probably to emphasize they worshipped one and the same God. If they could both remember this, their agreement would do quite well. Notice that Laban’s gods are not mentioned. Ha!

Laban had been very concerned about his missing gods. But here he swears by the name of the true God. He was inconsistent. Those that have one God should have one heart: those that agree in religion should strive to agree in everything else. God is the Judge between contending parties, and He will judge righteously; whoever does wrong, it is at his own peril because the fair Judge, God, is watching.

They gave a new name to the place. This “heap of witness” will testify for us if we be faithful, but witnesses against us if we are false. Later someone will ask the rhetoric question “Is there a balm in Gilead?” and we can answer “yes,” there is a healing balm in Gilead. Where strife ends and peace between those who have contended prevails, yes, there will be healing. 

This too is humorous, that in all this encounter, Laban was noisy and full of words, affecting to say much referring to God three times; Jacob was silent, and said little. When Laban appealed to God under many titles, Jacob simply took an oath in the name of the Fear of his father Isaac, that is, the God whom his father Isaac feared, who had never served other gods, as Abraham and Nahor had done. The few words of Jacob’s were more memorable than all Laban’s speeches and vain repetitions. As Ecclesiastes says, “The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools” (Ecclesiastes 9:17).

Finally, after all this angry argument, they part friends as verse 55 says, “Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.” Laban kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them, and then went back in peace. God is often better to us than our fears, and strangely overrules the spirits of men in our favor, beyond what we could have expected. It is not in vain to trust in Him. On the other hand, kisses do not always mean what they are supposed to mean. The stories of Joab and Judas come to mind. Laban’s kisses were too late.

As we enter chapter 32, Jacob enters Canaan and we notice a welcoming party of Angels comes to meet Jacob’s company. The first two verses say, “Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. When Jacob saw them, he said, ‘This is the camp of God!’ So he named that place Mahanaim.” We don’t know if Jacob saw a vision in the day or had a dream at night but we do know that people who keep in a good way always have a good guard; angels themselves are ministering spirits for their safety. Where Jacob pitched his tents, the angels pitched theirs about him like it says in Psalm 34:7, “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” They met him and bid him welcome to Canaan again.

This angelic visitation is a more honorable reception than any prince had, that was met by the magistrates of a city, state or nation in all their formalities. They met him to congratulate him on his arrival, as well as on his escape from Laban. They have pleasure in the prosperity of God’s servants. They had invisibly attended him all along, but now they appeared to him, perhaps because he had even greater dangers before him than those already encountered. When God designs His people for extraordinary trials, He prepares them by extraordinary encouragements. We should think it had been more appropriate for these angels to have appeared to him during the perplexity and agitation produced first by Laban, and afterwards by Esau, than in this calm and quiet interval when he was in no danger. But God will assure and steady us, when we are in peace, to brace us for trouble, and, when it comes, to live on earlier observations and experiences. We walk by faith, not by sight.

Jacob made a happy observation. This is God’s host. Therefore it is a powerful host; very safe is he that is guarded like this. God must have the praise for this protection. To preserve the remembrance of this favor, Jacob gave a name to the place, Mahanaim, two hosts, or two camps. Maybe it was one host of the guardian angels of Mesopotamia, who delivered Jacob safely to the other host of the angels of Canaan. They may have appeared to him in two hosts, one on either side, or one in the front and the other in the rear, to protect him from Laban behind and Esau before. Or perhaps this is a reference to the visible army of soldiers like you and me accompanied by an invisible army of angels and sent to protect and guide us. We too have our own Mahanaim—two hosts.