41 APPEASEMENT

Now that Jacob was re-entering Canaan, God, by the vision of angels, reminded him of the friends he had when he left it and from that he also takes it upon himself to remember an enemy he had there, namely Esau. It is very possible that Rebekah had sent him word of Esau’s settlement in Seir to the southeast, and of his continued hatred to Jacob. What will Jacob do? He wants to see his father, and yet dreads to see his brother. He rejoices to see Canaan again, and yet also trembles because of Esau.

This part of Jacob story illustrates the power of prayer to God and gifts to men. Esau had four hundred men with him, but by the time the two brothers meet, Esau has already partially calmed down and seems amiable. The gift evidently made a difference because that and Jacob’s praying are the only things that had happened in between. Jacob sends a very kind and humble message to Esau. His journey need not go through Esau’s country, and did not have to ask for permission for passage; his path did not lay near Seir. Nevertheless Jacob felt the need to pay respects to Esau, his brother, a twin-brother, an only brother, an elder brother, an offended brother.

What might we learn from this? Though our relatives fail in their duty to us, yet we must do our duty to them. It is a mark of friendship and brotherly love to inform them with our condition, and enquire into theirs. Acts of kindness may help kill  animosity. Jacob’s message to Esau is very good and may have been difficult for him to send his servants, but he did. “He instructed them: ‘This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: “Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now.”’” He calls Esau his lord, himself his servant, perhaps to suggest he was not eager to claim the rights the birthright and blessing he had earlier obtained for himself. He left it to God to fulfill His own purpose in His promises regarding Jacob’s spiritual heritage. Later, Solomon gave this advice. “If a ruler’s anger rises against you, do not leave your post; calmness can lay great offenses to rest.” Maybe Solomon remembered this story from the history of his family. We should speak in a respectful and submissive manner even to those who might be against us. Jacob then gives him a short account of himself, that he was not a fugitive and though he had been gone a long time he had had a dwelling-place, with his own relations, staying with Laban. Jacob was not a beggar living without the necessities of life, nor did he come home, as a bad run-away son. In other words, in his message Jacob told Esau he had no financial needs and would not be a burden in any way to Esau. He probably correctly thought this would put Esau’s mind to rest and might even help him gain a good opinion in Esau’s eyes.  We might learn from this that even if we happen to be in a better economic situation than others, we still can humbly say and do what we need to in order to put the other party at ease.

What does Jacob receive in the report his servants brought back to him from their visit to Esau? A rather strong account of Esau’s warlike preparations against him. We have observed many times in this series that actions speak louder than words. What do Esau’s actions communicate? Here is the report. You decide. “When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, ‘We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”” I think this was an understandable reason for Jacob to be troubled. There was not a word, but a blow, a very coarse return to his kind message, and a sorry welcome home to a long absent brother. Esau is now weary of waiting for the days of mourning for this good father, and even before those days come he resolves to slay his brother. Evidently he stills remembers the old quarrel, and will now be avenged on Jacob for the birthright and blessing, and, if possible, defeat Jacob’s expectations from both. Malice harbored will last long, and find an occasion to break out with violence a long time after the provocations are given. Angry men have good memories. Esau evidently still envies Jacob his comparatively small estate made up of no property and only livestock. Though he himself was now possessed of much more, yet nothing will serve him but to feed his eyes upon Jacob’s ruin, and fill his fields with Jacob’s spoils.

Is it possible that the account Jacob sent him of his wealth only provoked Esau the more? Esau seems to think, if we correctly interpret his bringing 400 men with him, that it would be easy to destroy Jacob, now that he was on the road, a weary traveller, unsettled, and, as Esau mistakenly thinks, unguarded. People who have the serpent’s poison often also have the serpent’s policy, to take the first and easiest opportunity for revenge.

Esau evidently, by interpreting his actions, resolves to do his deed suddenly even before Jacob comes to his father. Could Esau have been afraid that his father would defend Jacob and stop him from getting his revenge? Was Esau included in the group of evil persons David refers to in Psalm 120:6&7? “Too long have I lived among those who hate peace. I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war.” Esau was one of those that hated peace and when Jacob speaks peaceably, by sending gifts, Esau is for war.

The plot in this drama of these brother’s feud thickens and becomes more intense. Out marches Esau, spurred on by the rage he evidently harbored for the twenty years of Jacob’s absence, intent on blood and murder, four hundred men with him. We don’t know from what is said what these four-hundred men carried with them. It does not look like they carried a picnic lunch with clothes to spread on the ground to welcome Jacob and his company with a welcoming banquet feast. David could say that God prepares a banquet for him in the presence of his enemies, but Jacob could not reasonably expect this kind of welcome from his estranged brother. It would be fair to assume Esau’s men had the equipment  probably such as is used to hunt with them, armed, no doubt, rough and cruel like their leader, ready to execute the word of command though ever so murderous, and now breathing nothing but threatenings and slaughter. Only one tenth of these were enough to cut off defenseless Jacob who travels slowly with his wives, children and animals. Jacob’s guiltless group was helpless.

No wonder it follows that “In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well.” Perhaps the fear was greater from having just scarcely recovered from the fright of Laban’s recent visit. Many are the troubles of the righteous in this world, and sometimes the end of one is the beginning of another. The clouds return after the rain. Jacob, though a man of great faith, yet was now greatly afraid. A knowledge of danger, and the fear arising from it, may well force us to place our confidence in God’s power and promise. Jesus Himself, in his agony, was sorely distressed.

Jacob puts himself into the best defense his present disadvantageous circumstances will allow. It would have been absurd to think of making resistance. All of his efforts are focused on escape or survival. His reaction to his realities are totally understandable. He knows it is prudent not to venture all in one group, and therefore divides what he has into two companies, that, if one were taken, the other might possibly escape. He divides his company, not as Abraham had for a fight, but rather for flight. Yet like a tender careful master of a family, he is more concerned for their safety than for his own.

Our rule is to call on God in the time of trouble and we have before us an example of the success of this rule which encourages us to follow it. It was now a time of Jacob’s trouble, but he will be saved out of it; and here we have him praying for that salvation. In his distress he sought the Lord, and God heard him. Times of fear should be times of prayer; whatever frightens us should drive us to our knees and to our God. Jacob had lately seen his own guard of angels, but, in this distress, he applied to God, not to them; he knew they were his fellow-servants. Jacob did not consult Laban’s teraphim; it was enough for him that he had a God to Whom to go. To Him he addresses himself with all possible seriousness and urgency as he ran for safety to the name of the Lord who was his strong tower. “The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe” (Proverbs 18:10. This prayer is the more remarkable because it won him the honor of becoming an Israel, a prince with God, and the father of the praying remnant.

The prayer itself is very expressive: “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children” (11). There was no human likelihood of success on his side, yet he believed the power of God could rescue him as a lamb out of the bloody jaws of the lion. We have permission to be particular and specific in our requests to God, to mention the real problems and difficulties in which we find ourselves. The God with whom we have to do is One with Whom we may be free. When our brothers want to be our destroyers, it is our great blessing that we have a Father to Whom we may apply as our Deliverer.

Jacob’s requests are many, and very powerful; never was cause better ordered as Job mentions in Job 23:44: “I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments.” Jacob offers up his request with great faith, fervency, and humility. How earnestly does he beg! “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children” (11). His fear made him urgent. With what holy logic does he argue! With what divine eloquence does he plead! The best and greatest of men are utterly unworthy of the least favor from God, and we should be ready to acknowledge this at all times, whether we are urgent or not.

Jacob, having piously made God his friend by a prayer, is here prudently endeavoring to make Esau his friend by a present. He had prayed to God to deliver him from the hand of Esau, for he feared him; but his fear did not sink into such a despair that his prayer would make him presume on God’s mercy without also the use of means—doing what he could. When we have prayed to God for any mercy, we may second our prayers with our own efforts; else, instead of trusting God, we tempt him; we must so depend upon God’s providence as to also make use of our own wisdom. God sometimes answers our prayers by teaching us how to order our affairs with prudence.

To pacify Esau, Jacob sent a very noble present, not of jewels or fine garments, but of cattle, to the number of 580 in all as recorded in verses 13-15. “He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys.” This might persuade Esau that Jacob was no pauper since he could spare such a number of cattle out of his stock. It was Jacob’s wisdom that he would willingly part with some, to secure the rest. Some men’s covetousness causes them to lose more than it ever gained for them, and, by grudging a little expense, they expose themselves to great damage. It was a present that he thought would be acceptable to Esau, who had busied himself so much in hunting wild beasts that perhaps he was not so well furnished with tame cattle with which to stock his new conquests in Seir. We may guess, though this is only a guess, that the mixed colors of Jacob’s cattle, ring-straked, speckled, and spotted, might please Esau’s fancy. Jacob hopes that this gift might make room for him and pacify Esau’s anger. We must not abandon hope for reconciling ourselves even to those that have been most hateful against us; we ought not to judge unappeasable men, until we have tried and failed to appease them. Jacob forgives and forgets.

 Jacob sent Esau a very humble message, which he ordered his servants to deliver in the best manner. Verses 17&18 say, “He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’” They must call Esau their lord, and Jacob his servant; they must tell him the cattle they had was a small present which Jacob had sent him. The cattle he sent were to be disposed of in several droves, and the servants that attended each drove were to deliver the same message, that the present might appear the more valuable, and his submission, so often repeated, might be the more likely to influence Esau. They must especially take care to tell him that Jacob was coming a little later so that Esau might not suspect Jacob had fled through fear.  A friendly confidence in men’s goodness may help to stop the bad treatment intended for us. If Jacob will seem not to be afraid of Esau, Esau, it may be hoped, will not be a terror to Jacob.

Speaking of appeasement, we can appease man with a gift, but we cannot appease God for our sin. Jesus alone could and did that for us.

This is the way Jacob attempted to appease his brother Esau. The Man and woman of God today, should not think themselves above doing something similar. Whom have we offended? Whom should we appease? How can we make certain we are on good terms with those around us so that we may gain the opportunity to influence others or continue to have influence for the sake of our message? Will you pray and give gifts? Prayer to God and gifts to men is one way to maintain unity in our leadership team.