43 A REUNION

We read, in the former chapter, how Jacob had power with God, and prevailed. Here we find what power he had with men too and how his brother Esau was quickly pacified and reconciled to him. Let’s remember here Proverbs 16;7, “When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.”

When Jacob discovers Esau’s approach, as recorded in verse 1, “Jacob looked up and there was Esau,” there could be a symbolic meaning to Jacob “looked up.” Possibly his lifting up his eyes indicates his cheerfulness and confidence, in opposition to a dejected countenance; having by prayer committed his case to God, he went on his way with his face lifted. When Hannah felt her prayer had been received, 1 Samuel 1:18 records, “She said, ‘May our servant find favor in your eyes.’ Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.” Any who have cast their care on God may look before them with satisfaction and composure of mind, confidently, if not cheerfully, expecting that whatever may be, come what will, nothing can come amiss to one whose heart is fixed, trusting in God. Jacob looked up. As Jacob let’s pray and then look up.

Jacob arranged his family in the best order he could to receive Esau, whether he would come as a friend or as an enemy. These two brothers’ groups had quite different appearances. Esau is attended with a guard of 400 men, and looks big while Jacob is followed by a cumbersome train of helpless women and children that are his care, as he looks with concern for their safety. Still Jacob had the birthright, and was to have the dominion, and was in every way the better man. It is no contradiction or belittling to great and good men to give personal attendance to their families, and family affairs. Jacob, at the head of his household, set a better example than Esau at the head of his small army.

At their meeting, the expressions of kindness were exchanged in a surprisingly good manner. Jacob bowed to Esau as verse three says, “He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.” Though he feared Esau as an enemy, yet he bowed to him as an elder brother, knowing and remembering perhaps that when Abel’s offering was preferred before his elder brother Cain’s, yet God also had good instructions for Cain and took care of him too.  “‘. . . anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.’ Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him” (Genesis 4:15). These words could, in part, also apply to Esau. The way to recover peace where it has been broken is to do our duty, and consistently pay our respects,  as if it had never been broken. It is the remembering and repeating of matters that separates friends and perpetuates the separation. A humble submissive attitude goes a long way towards turning away wrath. Many preserve themselves by humbling themselves: the arrow flies over him that stoops.

As Jacob prayed the night before, motivated by his fear, could he have imagined that God would answer his prayer so wonderfully? Esau ran to meet Jacob, not in passion, but in love; and, as one heartily reconciled to him, he received him with all the endearments imaginable, embraced him, fell on his neck and kissed him. Jacob was a man of prudence and fortitude, and we cannot suppose him to have had a groundless fear; he was afraid because there was a real danger. Consider that the Spirit of God would not have stirred him up to pray such a prayer as he did for deliverance if the danger had been merely imaginary. While it is true that we can imagine more things to fear than actually occur, it is also true that God delivers. Better pray in case the cause for fear is real. If there was not some wonderful change really made in the spirit of Esau, how could the wrestling of Jacob be said to obtain such power with men as to have God call him a prince? God has the hearts of all men in his hands, and can turn them when and how he pleases, by a secret, silent, but resistless power. It is not in vain to trust in God, and to call on Him in the day of trouble. Anyone who does that often finds the situation turns out much better than they expected.

As they met after a twenty year separation, Jacob and Esau both wept. We can assume it was an emotional experience for both. They each felt different emotions, but nevertheless both had deep feelings that could not be expressed in words, but with weeping. Relief, joy, release, happiness, shame, grief, remembering childhood experiences—these all could have been part of the emotional mixture. 

We see next the conversation between the two brothers, which appears to be free and friendly, without any reference to the old quarrel. It was best to say nothing of it. They discuss the group of people and animals with Jacob. Verses 5-7 say, “Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. ‘Who are these with you?’ he asked. Jacob answered, ‘They are the children God has graciously given your servant.’ 6 Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. 7 Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down.”

Jacob had sent him an account of the increase of his estate but had made no mention of his children; perhaps because he did not want to expose them to Esau’s anger if Esau met him as an enemy, or would please him with the unexpected sight if he met him as a friend. Esau therefore had reason to ask, “Who are these with you?” Jacob could have simply said, “They are my children,” but in an effort to be friendly and also give God honor he gives a fuller answer. “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.” Jacob uses his answer to honor Esau by calling himself Esau’s servant and to honor God by acknowledging that God had graciously given him the eleven children that Esau could now see. Jacob’s experience certainly fits the description Psalm 107:41 gives of a person God favors, “But he lifted the needy out of their affliction and increased their families like flocks.”  I see two lessons in this. 1, that we should recognize that children are a great blessing from the Lord and 2. that we can seek to give honor to the Lord in almost whatever is the subject of the conversation.

Next they discuss the gifts that Jacob has offered and sent before him. Esau modestly refused it because he had enough, and did not need it, saying “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself” (9). His reason is I have enough, I have much (so the word is), so much that he was not willing to take any thing that was his brother’s. Esau had what was promised him, the fatness of the earth and a livelihood by his sword. It is a good thing for those that have much to know that they have enough, though they have not so much as some others have. Even Esau can say, I have enough. Anyone who is content with what they have must show it by not coveting what others have. Esau asks Jacob to keep what he had to himself, supposing he had more need of it. Esau, for his part, does not need it either to supply him, for he was rich, or to pacify him, for he was already just now reconciled. We do not want our covetousness to take unnecessary advantage of the courtesy and generosity of others.

Jacob affectionately urges Esau in verses 10 and 11 to accept the gift, and prevails “‘No, please!’ said Jacob. ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.’ And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.” Jacob sent it, through fear, but, the fear being over, he now urges Esau to accept it for love, to show that he desired his brother’s friendship, and did not merely dread his anger. He was glad for Esau’s favor, but what did he mean when he said it was like seeing the face of God? Jacob, at Peniel, had seen the face of God and now in seeing the answer that God gave to his earnest and desperate prayer, it was like seeing the handiwork of God or the appearance of God, that is to say, seeing the face of God. Other interpretations of this expression are possible, but I favor this one. Human necessities are comforts indeed to us when they are granted as answers to prayer, and are indications of our acceptance with God. It is a great joy to those that are of a peaceable and affectionate disposition to recover the friendship of those relations with whom they have been at variance. Jacob too had enough, only the Hebrew word is is stronger. Esau had “much” translated “enough,” Jacob had “all I need.” If what we have in this world increases, we must take notice of it with thankfulness, to the glory of God, and acknowledge that He has dealt graciously with us, better than we deserve. Esau’s enough was much, but Jacob’s enough was all. A godly man, though he have but little in the world, yet may truly say, “I have all.” He who has the God of all has all in Him; all is yours if you have God.  He that has much usually wants more; but he that perceives he has all is sure he has enough. He has all in prospect; he will have all shortly, when he comes to heaven. On this principle Jacob urged Esau, and he took his present. It is an excellent thing when men’s spirit life makes them generous, free-hearted, and open-handed, scorning to do things that are cheap and misleading.

The two brothers also talk about the progress of their journey as Esau offers himself to be his guide and companion as recorded in verse 12, “Esau said, ‘Let us be on our way; I’ll accompany you.’” Ha! We never find that Jacob and Esau were so amiable with each other and so affectionate as they were now. God’s work is perfect. He made Esau, not only not an enemy, but a friend. Esau has suddenly become fond of Jacob’s company and invites him to Mount Seir. Yet Jacob  modestly refused this offer as he shows a tender concern for his own family and flocks, like a good shepherd and a good father. He must consider the children and the flocks with young, and not lead the one, nor drive the other, too fast. This prudence and tenderness of Jacob ought to be imitated by those of us who have the care and charge of young people in the things of God. They must not be over-driven, at first, by heavy tasks in religious services, but led, as they can bear, having their work made as easy and fitting to them as possible.

Jacob does not want Esau to slow down his pace needlessly. It is unreasonable to tie others to our rate; we may come with comfort, at last, to the same journey’s end. We each have our own desired and appropriate pace. We may not fall in with others, but neither will we fall out with them. Jacob intimates to him that it was his present design to come to him to Mount Seir; and we may presume that eventually he did, after he had settled his family and concerns elsewhere, though that visit is not recorded.

Esau may have been more concerned than Jacob was with appearance of grandeur. He offers men to guard Jacob’s group en route to Seir, but Jacob is satisfied with God’s guard just as Ezra later was. It is recorded in Ezra 8:22. “I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, ‘The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him.’”  God protected Jacob and later Ezra’s groups. Jacob arrived safely at Shechem and possibly Ezra, who knew of this, relied on God’s rather than Cyrus’ guard. Ezra too arrived safely at his destination, Jerusalem. God protects travelers. Anyone is sufficiently guarded who has God for their Guard and are under the convoy of His hosts, as Jacob was.

Jacob comes to Succoth having in a friendly manner parted with Esau, who had gone to his own country recorded in verse 16. “So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir.” Jacob comes to a place where, it should seem, he rested for some time, set up booths for his cattle, and other conveniences for himself and family. The place was afterwards known by the name of Succoth, a city in the tribe of Gad, on the other side Jordan. The meaning of Succoth is “booths “or “tabernacles.” Following the example of his grandfather, Abraham, though he too has the promise of the whole land, yet buys a field. It was not yet God’s time to claim the land. He buys a field as recorded in verse 19 “For a hundred pieces of silver, he bought from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, the plot of ground where he pitched his tent.” Following Abraham’s example in another way, now Jacob builds an altar, “There he set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel. Where we have a tent God must have an altar. He dedicated this altar to the honor of El-elohe-Israel—God, the God of Israel, to the honor of God, in general, the only living and true God, the best of beings and first of causes; and to the honor of the God of Israel, as a God in covenant with him.  God had lately called him by the name of Israel, and now he calls God the God of Israel; though he is styled a prince with God, God shall still be a prince with him, his Lord and his God.

You are a Christian leader and have the same God protecting and guiding you as Jacob had. The way may not be easy, but God is your Source of strength. You can prevail with God and He will enable you to prevail with people.